Granddad Liked to Draw with Me

  Granddad liked to draw with me. When my father was in Occupied Japan with the Army, Mom and I stayed with her parents in Southern California. That’s probably the time Granddad and I drew together. Maybe not the only time. I don’t remember a lot of back then, as I was only two, going on three. But I feel there is truth to much of what I heard. I sort of remember his large hand patting my back, giving my hair a mess-up, and then calling Mom and Grandma over to see what I did.

Portrait of my Dad Pencil on paper, 1954, when I was 7.

Portrait of my Dad, drawn when I was 7                                      Pencil and paper

 Dad came home  from the Korean War badly wounded. The best thing was, the three of us were together again. I started school in Central California, and a few years later we moved north to be closer to Dad’s family in Southern Oregon. As far as I know, Granddad died a year or so after that. The folks did not talk to me about it. I went to stay with my Aunt May and Uncle Ivan on their farm in Looking-glass, while Mom and Dad drove south to attend the funeral.

   The relationship between Granddad and me was not very current by then. We saw one another rarely.  Once or twice, while he was still alive, the folks and I would go down Highway 99, from our home near Roseburg, to Menlo Park or Hayward, where Mom’s siblings lived – and all my cousins. The grandparents would drive up from Santa Barbara and we’d have Easter or Thanksgiving. Granddad and I may have sketched together those few times. If so, Mom would have commented to the Gathering that Granddad had been drawing with me since I was very little. She would have said that the two of us “go off into our own world” when we are together. Granddad and I sat side by side at the table, “just going to town”, as Mom would say.

   Grandmother lived on for several more years. I remember her coming around occasionally after my brother was born, even as he started school, which is when I left grammar school to enter junior high. At my junior high school in Southern Oregon there was a very good arts curriculum. I took classes in pottery and copper enameling. We moved a couple of times before I finished high school. Dad was often restless. My Junior year of high school was spent in Northern Oregon, where I showed my drawings to an administrator and was accepted into the arts program for the following year. However, before that happened, we moved on to Southern Washington, and I entered a school that did not have drawing or painting classes. That turned out to be fine with me. I was busy enough painting stage settings, and contributing to the steady stream of butcher paper pep rally banners my senior year.

  A business minor in community college was something I “could someday fall back on”.  Mom again. I took Art to practice art.  Business proved to be terribly dull and simplistic to my highly charged imagination and romantic sensibility. I switched to Literature as a minor, realizing how much I love stories. My Dad had a little bit to do with this decision. I grew up listening to his stories. I learned that he was at least a 2nd generation storyteller. And when his war wound limited his physical activity, he took the time and had the ambition to turn to writing professionally.

  Upon my return from a drafted enrollment in the Army, and fortified by the G.I. Bill, I became an Art major at a state college in Northwest Washington. As I advanced to and through my senior year, Drawing became my favorite subject. I took a number of classes from the dynamic Robert Jensen. It was his “Inventive Drawing” class that became the final class of my final year at college.

  A student of geology and I shared an A-framed house then. It was far from the hustle and glitter of the college and city. We lived beside a lake in the woods. It was mostly quiet and we were somewhat isolated. We went out on the nearby road and tried to hitch-hike when the car would not start. Some mornings a woodpecker came and had a go at our roof. The nights were dark, with only the sounds of wildlife like owls and frogs.

  I had been producing graphite drawings of trees and forests. The pencil seemed to be good for only intricate stuff. That kind of bugged me. I could articulate the details of boughs and leaves, twisting branches and roots, boulders or splashing water with my pencil, but when it came to sky, clouds, or broad surfaces where I thought cross-hatch shading would further actualize the scene, it never worked; the overall ‘light’ began to choke.

  ‘And this style is all too freaking tedious for me!’ I fumed, exasperated. It was the night before the final critique of my college career. However much I wanted to moan about it, I would be required to stay up late finishing  my project.

  I occupied the upper part of the “A” in our A-frame. The peak of the house was just above my head. In my work space the ceiling angled away to each side of my table. I relied on an elbowed office lamp for light. The paper was a heavy, cotton base Arches. The pencil; probably a 5B. The picture was half the way finished. The roommate was gone for the night, so there was nobody around but me. I settled in to advance my pencil-dance across  the soft, snow white surface, as snow white as a 60 watt incandescent could make it. As I worked, I thought the thoughts of my sort of 25 year old self.

   Out of nowhere, beyond any reason or rhyme I had, I was suddenly aware of a head hovering next to mine, its face I immediately recognized to be Granddad. It was like he was bending to look at my work, or working on his own drawing next to mine. The instant I pulled together what was happening, as heart stopping alarm passed through me, the apparition was gone.

  Makes one wonder. I finished the piece and presented all my work on time the following day. It was a hit! No one had seen anything like that from me before. Jensen got excited about it. Not much time after that, I teamed with a fellow art student, Susan Waldron, and we hung our work in the school’s gallery. One of my pieces was selected for purchase for the college’s collection.

    Even more unforgettable was the visit, apparently from Granddad, that I had during the night before the critique. By that time, I barely remembered the man. Yet I recognized him right away, as if we were fresh from the past. I decided Granddad didn’t mean to be spooky.  I think I experienced his influence in a pure form by this encounter. Interesting question: How much can he take charge of my work? He is an ancestor, so his claims on me are not deniable. Nevertheless, he, or both of us, seem to live where perpetuation of idea thrives, and he, or we, decided to meet at that particular moment. Summarily, this suggests the possibility of a rich and different spin to the title, “Granddad Liked to Draw with Me.”

Poster I designed for the show

P1010355 (3)

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A Little Drive Through the Highlands

By early ought-four, Amy was married to a gentleman from the prospering field of high technology. Her new husband was transferred to his employer’s London office, and the couple established residence in Windsor, a half hour train ride east. Near that time, our youngest, Christopher, and his girlfriend, Erica, went to live in Edinburgh, Scotland. A graduate of culinary school, Chris had acquired a youth work permit for the United Kingdom and had been working at an Italian restaurant in the city for a several months. Encouraged by our children to visit them, Kathleen and I found someone to care for our pets, packed our bags, and headed for the UK for a two week vacation.

In Edinburgh one morning we rented a car. With Chris and Erica, the four of us crowded into a new compact Ford. It was late in the kid’s stay in Scotland. They had endured a rough winter. Rougher, they said, than any they had experienced in the Pacific Northwest. Now in the first twinkling of Spring, they were eager to move on. They were free to explore the countryside.

The Ford had a manual stick-shift using the familiar sequence. But with the steering wheel on the right side of the car, the shifting had to be done with the left hand. More awkward than that; we needed to drive on the left side of the road. Chris and Erica, yet minors, were prohibited by the rental agreement to get behind the wheel. So the driving was up to Kathleen and me. A straw was drawn, and it was me to start us out. Out of the city, along a bit of freeway before pulling off to a secondary highway and handing it over to her. I feared that I had already had enough.

Soon we were rolling along an asphalt ribbon, up through hills geometrically coated in tree farms. A river would sparkle on one side of the road awhile, then the other. One issue we had, aggravating both Kathleen and myself; the line of cars pressing into the rear view mirror. Here we were, rushing along the little highway, seemingly no larger than your or my driveway, with wild abandon, and everyone back there was able to keep up with us, and, not only that, they were implying  that we should go faster.

It was afternoon when we began entering the Highlands. The scenery became more awesome. The road became more ours. I was at the wheel again, driving in wide open country, along a road ever more empty of traffic. Heavy, granite blue clouds scraped over jagged black peaks just out our windows. They dropped sheets of rain onto snow fields one could measure by the square mile. In the distance one could see it would be more of the same to the horizon; the immense, presumably silent, space above the still, massively rumpled land, an unmade bed part of Earth. It got me somewhere in my heart. There were turnouts, often at the end of a slow, steady climb, and I was compelled to pull us aside for another look, another inhale of that air, and while my companions stretched their legs, I ran about with my arms flung wide open to embrace another enormous scene, declaring my allegiance to this place with ever increasing drama.

The evening sort of sneaked up on us. We suddenly felt ourselves in a tiny ship on a vast, less-than-friendly ocean. The light purpled and blued. At the final viewpoint I got out alone, took a big look at the lengthening shadows, got back into our Ford and quickly shut the door. It was getting cold. Then I noticed that Kathleen had gone into emotional neutral, while in back they appeared to be fuming.

Okay, we haven’t the slightest idea where we will be spending the night. But what really is the problem?

Chris spoke for the back seat. All day he and Erica had felt trapped in the back of the car. They had watched the mad swirl out the windshield, not sure what we’d do first; drive into a cold river or dash head-on into oncoming traffic. No, it didn’t help, either, to come to the end of the day out in the middle of nowhere. He and Erica had decided the other plan would have been better. That would have had us taking the train for the West Coast, then ferrying on out to the islands.

It was Kathleen who insisted on us getting the car. She repeated her case; that we’d enjoy the comfort and convenience, and have the freedom to go anywhere we want. Maybe it was a mistake to have come North, though, if that’s the way everybody felt.

I turned in my seat as well as I could in order to face the children. Chris is six three and Erica is fair sized. They were jammed together at their hips and shoulders, were partially unfolded out into the available space left by the softer of our luggage, that which overflowed from the trunk.

I stated what I thought had been apparent earlier; that there were always cars on our butt. There was usually no place to pull over. Those people behind us wanted us to go faster and faster. And my other point: If Mom hadn’t rented us the car, and we hadn’t come North, then I – for one – would not have gotten to see this place. I summed up by saying, yes, I was having fun. Then I asked if anyone thought it counted when I was having fun.

That part of the conversation ended here. To wit, we urgently needed to proceed to the first warm meal and shelter we could find, especially while there was daylight. We rode West, then North into the violet air. We descended, while the mountains began to ridge and the great sweeps of land between them deepened into steep walled valleys. The grand patches of snow disappeared and the valleys filled with water. We drove along the shore of a lake. There was no longer anyone on the road but us. We still had the light. In March, perhaps, the twilight lingers reliably, enough for the dalliers to find home.

Soon, we spotted a house. It was slate roofed, two stories of white-washed stone, set in the embrace of several large, leafless trees. Lamplight warmed the downstairs. A sign at the road read that it was an inn. Up the creaky wooden stairs inside, to the second floor, there were five vacant bedrooms, of which we were cheerfully rented two. Downstairs and in the back was the dining room. There, two men and a young woman played pool. They lived nearby, and spoke barely understandable English. The four of us sat with our meals, our dark brews, finally content. Out our window, notably, daylight remained. In view, beyond some fields, between us and the failing mauve face of a rugged mountain, was the formidable liquid body of the Loch Ness, the lair of the monster.

 

 

 

 

 

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Souvenir

“So you are an artist.” Sargent Preganis stepped around to look over my shoulder. I sat cross-legged on the ground, with the wooden board on my lap. I had gleaned it from a discarded ammo crate. I had blackened it with my Zippo lighter, and was carving away areas of its surface with my knife when Preganis came over. I looked up at him, and the forest canopy seemed a mile beyond his head.

“Well, I try,” I said.

Preganis, tall and lean, had not been with us long. Ours was the newest squad in the Company, as the more experienced Preganis was put in charge of the handful of us new guys. This happened, of all places, out in the Vietnam boondocks, and in the middle of a search and destroy mission.

“Hey!,” said the Sargent. “It looks good.”

Would have been sweet of him to allow me more time to dig into the yellowish meat of my board, but he announced the advent of our packing up and hitting the trail. It was time to put things away. I rolled up my bedding and stuffed it into my rucksack, to be beneath the canned food that would make up the day’s meals. And my other pair of socks. In the bottom of my rucksack, beneath the bedding, beneath my larder, and a layer of rain gear, was the weight, alas, of goods that lacked urgency; the novel I had started back in a rear camp, a tablet that I still meant to write in, and, though reception was a joke for the time being, a small radio. The last thing to put away was the ammo box board. That fit tidily under the cover flap up top. I cinched it down snug.

By that time, Sargent Preganis had already loaded up and was waiting at the trail, and holding our place in the Company lineup.  His pack hung from its rack like a mere sack lunch compared with mine and, frankly, everyone else’s in our squad. He had in there the articles that fit any of our customary needs. It was just minus those cultural things that the rest of us had imported, and maybe a little food, and water, as we were still pretty heavy on the water yet, with canteens hanging and stuffed in and about our gear. He had tied in, the standard tools for living in our great out of doors; gas mask and shovel. He carried the same amount of ammo we did. But he didn’t ever appear to be carrying much of anything, and when the time came, he’d saunter up the trail, as easy as you please. We sat, slipped the straps over our shoulders and worked ourselves to our feet, and hurried after him.

The mountain’s name is Nui Kui. Translated, it is “That Mountain”.  It was ‘This Mountain’ to us. It passed just beneath our noses as we climbed. It is steep in places.. The trail passes around the thick bases of the towering trees, crosses the bare roots with the look of wear. Where it comes to patches of stone, it crosses as a trough formed by centuries of scuffing feet. It guided us relentlessly upward. Once, twice, we were prompted to leave it; to step into the leathery leaf tangle, which set off crazy clouds of flying insects, caused much bigger creatures to dash this way and that, only deepening our sense of foreboding. One cry, as Preganis pointed out, is that of a lizard.

Day ends early in such a place. As a Company of soldiers, we had dragged our tails up a day’s worth of mountain. Evening had us spread out into a defensive perimeter and dug in. Time for quiet conversation and chow. Between the salty grease taste of dinner and total darkness, I finished the ammo box board. It had everything to do with the experience of being a gullible kid in a wild place, an attempt to reach back and snatch some part of the active “scene” back home – and maybe some comfort in being gone from it. Along the length of the board, in my attempt at “psychedelic” style, there read: “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club”.

“So what are you going to do with it now?” Sargent Preganis asked the following morning. “Now that it is finished.”

“Don’t really know,” I answered. To keep his skills alive, an artist will make a thing; and then he might just up and throw it away. “Doesn’t matter much.”

“Why not hand it over to me? I’ll take it home as a souvenir.”

We would be losing our squad leader soon. Preganis was close enough to leaving that he was more and more counting on it. Said he’d pack the board from there, on. So, when we moved out that morning the board was strapped across his back. It wasn’t all that heavy, of course. He carried it to the top of ‘That Mountain’, and even beyond there some.

Sargent Preganis (left), his souvenir, and some of the rest of us, on Nui Ki, 1968

Sargent Preganis (left), his souvenir, and some of the rest of us on Nui Ki, 1968

 

Trouble

Folksy Woman Soft pastel, Colored pencil on paper

Folksy Woman
Soft pastel, Colored pencil on paper

Out the corner of my eye I saw her face; a light, fleshy oval. The same time, I noticed the bus driver in his mirror. He was kindly waiting for me to take a seat. The green light at the intersection ahead beckoned us to hurry, so I immediately sat and we  got through the light okay. Relieved, and happy to be aboard, I settled back for the twenty minute trip to the ferry landing.

The young woman sat one seat up and across the aisle. She had laid her head against the window as if she were napping. I travel by bus around the Puget Sound a lot, and usually see nothing unusual about napping. She had on blue jeans, tennis shoes, and, considering the chill of the day, a less than adequate pullover. She was out of shape and a little pudgy. Blond hair came in and out of a rubber band at the back of her head, with only an inch or so to spare.

The neighborhoods of Lynnwood passed by out our windows. Then, after a long traffic light, those of Mukilteo. They are baby cities that were lying in the bassinet of forest in the midst of autumn.  There was a chance of rain during the afternoon. The ferries to the island run every half hour. ‘We will miss one,’ I thought. ‘But with a little luck, we will catch the next’.

She changed position. She sat up and plopped forward while placing her hands and forehead on top of the seat back that was in front of her.  She was not feeling well. If she appeared she was about to vomit, my plan would be to immediately move farther back on the bus, and, when the time came, I would exit through the rear door. Abruptly, she lifted her head and twisted her torso around to face me. Her eyes did not zero in. Instead, she looked at everything in general, as a sleepy kid would. I supposed I was within her spectrum of vision, nevertheless, and I don’t know where I got the idea she was requesting assistance, but I rose and moved toward her. “Are you alright?” I asked. My hand had landed on her shoulder.

She said something or other, seemingly to the negative.

“I will go tell the driver.”

I walked forward and told the driver there was a woman having a problem, and as I turned to implicate who it was, I saw that she had left her seat and was hurrying down the aisle toward us.  She arrived announcing that she was going to be sick.

I stepped aside and she slipped by me, as the driver swung the bus to the curb. The doors flopped open. She stood in the entry and noisily retched and gagged and coughed and spit. Meanwhile, I moved back to sit down. It was not in my original place.  Rattled, I ended up sitting a couple of seats forward from where I had been.

She had finished and had sat, sad sack, onto one of the seats in front. The driver was speaking to her. He pointed to the litter depository. It was a small Rubbermaid with a liner tidily lapping over its rim. He asked where she was bound for. The ferry landing. The island, she said. He asked if she would be alright if we went on, less than two miles to go. He could call an aid vehicle, if she thought she needed medical help. She continued to give co-operative responses She slumped, wiping her mouth with the back of her trembling hand. No. Go on. She would be okay.

There were two other passengers on this bus. One, a woman returning from a shopping trip, sat across from the sick woman, observing her contemplatively. And a long haired man sat immediately in front of me. He had been reading a book when the incident began, and he still had the book in hand, up and in position to be read, though he hadn’t looked at it for a good five minutes.

We continued without further delay. We were met just above Mukilteo by a string of vehicles, indicating that the ferry had docked and was unloading. We were on time. There was no doubt, I’d be on board when it left again for the island. The big bus swung in and stopped. All the doors opened and the four of us got off and began walking towards the ferry terminal. Island bound cars were loading. The long haired man lit a smoke and its cloud came over his shoulder and into my face. I looked around the terminal area for the sick woman. Here she came, up some concrete steps. She was hunched over a little, her head hung slightly off kilter, her eyes gazing at the ground five feet in front of her, but I thought she was going to make it. Right off, though, at top of the stairs, she staggered  sideways.  I approached her.

“Are you going to make it, Lady?” I asked, trying to sound ironically affectionate.

She spun my way, again, looking around me, through me.

“I need help,”she said.

“Do you need medical help?”

I took her response to be affirmative. She was hesitant. Who wants to call in the health cops on herself, right? It opens up a whole new set of problems. Anyway, she was surrendering right then. Maybe I or someone else could help her to begin to untangle things. Maybe she was giving up on keeping a little secret she had.  Her hands waved apart in a gesture that said, ‘Okay, no more trouble’. She softly cried, confidingly to me, “My mind is coming apart!”

At the ticket window, a woman inside was counting paper stubs. When I told her there was a  woman with a medical problem, she asked if an aid vehicle needed to be called. I said yes, and I turned to point out the woman that needed help. She had moved, gone over to lean against a rail. All we could see of her was her insufficiently clad dumpling shape and the top of her head.

“Have her sit down,” the agent said. Then she yelled. “Angeline! Get that woman to sit down.”

Angeline was happening by, from her station where she was in charge of the gate that lets foot traffic pass to and from the ferry. She was dressed in the bulky, highly reflective clothing worn by mariners who work around a lot of traffic. Angeline didn’t hear and continued on. The agent repeated it to me. Please, have her sit down.

I went over and got the young woman’s attention. There was  a bench along the terminal wall. We worked our way there and I told her to sit. She complied without hesitation.  Angeline arrived. She had been briefed on the situation. We stood over the woman. I figured Angeline would take over, now that the ferry was about to leave, so I reported to her what I knew. I said I came in on the same bus as this woman and she got sick along the way. We stopped for her, and afterward, her body was shaking. What she had told me, about her mind coming apart, that, she’d need to explain herself.   I leaned in and wished her luck. She was glum. I might just as well have wished Angeline good luck. I walked away.

Before I entered the building where the turnstile, the point of no return, set waiting, I stopped to look back. Maybe I should stay. The ferry people have their own duties. I could sit with her a few minutes, until the ambulance arrives. But on the other hand, I really had seen enough of her suffering, and I could not do her any real good. All I wanted was to go and be at home. The ticket agent had left her office to go and stand next to Angeline. She is tall and she wore the blue service uniform of a Washington State Ferry worker. They looked down at the woman slumped on the bench. Then the tall one glanced up and spotted me. We looked at each other a second. Was she wondering how I was involved with this woman’s problem? Did I own this situation? No, I did not own the situation, I decided.

I entered the empty terminal and paid my way through the turnstile.  Most of the foot passengers had boarded the boat earlier, just after the mainland direction load of cars exited. I was standing in a small outdoor area, next to a man, a white collar, on his way home from work. I could not see the women, but I began hear that around the corner of the building conditions had worsened. There were loud gasping, panting sounds, and with every desperate attempt to catch her breath, she gave out a yelp. She would have been screaming had she more air. Clearly, it was misery. I thought maybe it was a panic attack. They might have been assuring her that there would be a aid car arriving at any moment.

“She might be having a heart attack,” I said out loud, to the man next to me. He looked my way. He appeared not to be interested. “That woman,” I continued, in explanation. “I rode in on the bus with her. Along the way she became very ill.”

The bus driver should have called an emergency aid car,” he said.

“But he couldn’t have known how bad she would get.”

“He offered.” The voice came from just behind us. It was the long haired reader. He said, “But she declined. And that’s all he is required to do.”

Angeline appeared then and opened the gate to allow us through. She did not say, “You may board now” or “Have a nice day”, as the gate keepers often do. She just opened the gate and the three us of began our walk for the boat.

Aqua Girl Paper pulp, Cotton string, Tissue paper, Cardboard 12"X 21"

Aqua Girl
Paper pulp, Cotton string, Tissue paper, Cardboard
12″X 21″